BWW speaks to Fred the puppet about his upcoming starring role in “Meet Fred” at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

What can you tell us about your show Meet Fred?

Well, I can tell you what it says on the flyer, it’s about a puppet that just wants to be a regular guy. Now I thought that would be quite a feel good tale, of a guy succeeding against adversity. As it turned out the director had other ideas and now it’s very clear to me that the b*stard created this whole thing just to ridicule and belittle me.

What made you decide to tell your story at the Edinburgh festival?

What festival? What’s Edinburgh. The director hasn’t mentioned this to me at all. I told him I was never going this again. I hate touring, can you imagine what it’s like travelling around in a box. It’s bulls**t, no thank you, you can take your Edinburgh and stick it.

What kind of abuse have you received for claiming benefits?

Do you mean my puppetry living allowance? I get abuse for being a puppet when I’m out and about, things like “oi puppet, get back to your puppet theatre”

But it’s not so much the abuse, it’s more the everyday prejudices that get you down. An odd look, having to pay for four seats at the cinema, for me and my puppeteers, and never being able to get a date.

It’s tough being a puppet.

Do you feel that puppets are well represented at the festival?

I don’t know, are they? How many? Wow, if there are enough maybe we could organise a revolution, or start a movement, yeah, a puppets rights movement. I’ll set up some meetings. Thanks for that.

Who would you recommend comes to see Meet Fred?

No one, I don’t want anyone to see this. If you want to see me ridiculed, belittled, and have to endure failure after failure until I’m driven to extreme depths of despair then frankly you’re an idiot. What really gets my goat is people actually find it funny, I’m at my lowest moments and people laugh, what sort of sick people find that funny, this is my life, you callous b*stards.